The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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