hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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