So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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