youre lurking in front of me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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