when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Even my vagina gasped.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
