Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
