How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
