He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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