sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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