i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
