Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
