whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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