she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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