she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i dont even know how to be here
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
