we're chasing vodka with high fives
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
