Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
