Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize