Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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