worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
