It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my being single is dangerous.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
