How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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