Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
