thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
