Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
