...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
