let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
