my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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