She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
