Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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