Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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