Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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