I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How does one acquire holy water?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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