I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
