tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Floor bacon is actually really good
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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