We won't sleep together?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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