you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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