Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
