I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
