I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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