With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
