Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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