**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
