whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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