Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
