wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
