Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
