i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Drake has all the answers
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
