Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
