I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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