guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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