I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
