I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
